Push up bras: a f*** you relationship

November 7, 2011 § 2 Comments

Wonderbra got its name for a reason. Apparently a push up bra can change your life.

I don’t buy it. Maybe I need to ask some random people if my boobs look particularly good today, but this nonsense about transforming the way you look? The only thing I can think about is how uncomfortable this damn thing is. And how the poked-out things below my collarbone is making my cardigan hang in a way that makes me look 10 pounds heavier.

sheesh.

Maybe I don’t know how to style a push up bra. But dammit, I don’t really want to learn. This is not a Wonderbra. It’s a f*** you bra.

So, a change in rhetoric is needed: the right bra can change your life. And it might not be a push up bra. Here are the bras that changed my life:

Wacoal Custom Contours Strapless Bra

This is the best strapless in the world – and it’s on sale for $35 right now. I’m ordering another one. They’re sold at Nordstrom so you can try it on. PRO TIP: never ever ever ever buy a bra unless you’re tried it on and loved it. If it’s uncomfortable in the store, it’s only going to get worse.

Victoria’s Secret Incredible Racerback

The most comfortable bra in the universe. I have it in black and nude and will never buy another style. if the top you’re wearing doesn’t work with racerback, wear a strapless. The Wacoal one is comfortable enough to wear all day.

Why these work for me:

Narrow shoulders. Regular bra straps have always fallen off my shoulders, so racerback and strapless are my best options. If straps don’t stay up for you, as well – try these.
I’m 21 and perky. I don’t need lift because I’m a youngster, so these are just fine.
I’m a 34 DD. So I need support. Jesus, my back hurts as I’m writing this, I need my VS Incredible. This push up bra is asking to be burned.

If you fit into the same general category as I do, I implore you to try these. If they don’t work for you, go to Nordstrom and have the sales girl bring you EVERY SINGLE bra in your size. Get measured first. Don’t be ashamed or self-conscious: remember, the right bra will change your life. And the way your back feels. And probably your mood.